The stirrings of hearts in these perilous times... we are seeing division more so now than we ever have. We all have the opportunity to draw closer to the Heavenly Realms... If you have never heard of the man who died on the cross... I encourage you to get to know him in a book that was prophesized many years before. The times are uncertain; it is a time that we need to draw closer to the truth of clearing the clutter from our hearts and our lives. We are seeing things in the world unfold rapidly and we are living in times we have never seen. The natural disasters, the wars, the famines are beginning to take a very strong hold on each person and each society. This is no longer a time to play around in the world or decide which way to go. I ran from my calling so many times... I never wanted the visions or dreams I have had come to be reality...and see them happens within days, weeks, months or years ahead...but it has become more real than ever before.
I have never been perfect and have fallen short in the glory and of the glory that has held my hands time and time again... many times running into a world of people, places or things. I have sinned time and time again. I just wanted to fit in but my calling has always been different. My trials and tribulations were for me to share unto others to help and show others how to overcome the pains, the sorrows, the losses and disappointments that we all go through. I have gone through many things; as many of us have. I do not glorify myself in anyway for the obstacles than I have overcome. I am thankful that I have had an all loving care giver that sits on the Heavenly throne... to chastise me time and time again. Which is our Heavenly Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; whom leant the world his only begotten Son which is Jesus... who died on the Cross and rose after 3 Days to save the world of it sins and to save us all by his glory and sits on the right side of God... If you believe Jesus has died for you and all of your sins... declare to him that you know Jesus died for you... for all of us and ask him to come into your heart and invite him. Amen When this reaches you all... know we are all human and fall short in our lives and can go in any direction... but for the love of God, humanity and all of our souls.. We all have to decide which way we should choose to go in this life. The stirrings of hearts are to make one realize where we have fallen short in our lives and we need guidance for corrections... for any ills or mistakes you have made within your life or to others have to you. In forgiveness is where you will find peace. Do not do harm unto others but for the correction out of love. You must forgive yourself and others... Your life can not be put into the hands of another and your hands are the ones who can only clean up the misfortunes of and in your heart, mind, body and soul. You are solely responsible for yourself and how you treat those who come upon your path... You will never save anyone but you can leave them with seeds of hope that someone else will water... it will be uncomfortable when you call people out for the truths or when you are called out but that is what a true brother or sister is Christ does... we are to help others learn how to save their souls by speaking the truths whether it hurts or not... God will carry you... God wants to draw close to you... he is asking for you to take his hand and he wants to walk along with you in an of your journey... Will you invite him in? Be of the fruit of the spirit in which you will find love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance... and stay clear of the works of the flesh Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envying's, murders, drunkenness, reveling, and such like" in a world it is easy to fall unto...lean unto those that will lead you to the fruit of the spirit... and away from the works of the flesh... for I have fallen short myself times and time again....much love from my heart to all of yours.... In times of doubt, wonder and questioning one must lean unto the most magnificent power that reins. That power is a gift that has been given unto the world in a time such as this.... rumors of wars and destruction coming from the heavenly gates. A world that has been shattered by many untruths and dignity has been lost. The world has become a place of where hope in humanity has been lost and put into machines or a dollar bill.... they are rich in monetary but poor in spirit.
The love of family, neighbors, friends has become a place and land full of foes. The Royal law has been forgotten and I pray for a world of restoration. It begins by restoring the human heart. Coming from a place that tries to correct wrongs when they have fallen short on their path in life. We are to help out our brothers and sisters and have to acknowledge their wrongs and rights in order for correction to take place or healing to take place. Life is about growth and not about falsely or intentionally trying to harm another for ill gain. No matter how I have been wronged in my life... from my closet confidants. I still find hope for and in the people that have been lost on their journey, I I too have been lost and fallen short. The times that we are living in is a time to bring love, light, truth unto those whom have lost their direction and to help foster healing and growth so the full fruits of hope can manifest. We as a whole have to acknowledge where we have failed to foster truth and hope unto others. God knows what people have done and what they do... Nobody is ever going to be perfect; but when people try their best to correct behaviors or the wrongs they have made... restoration and faith can come full circle. I believe in those whom have lost direction...once people have lost direction as a whole we have to acknowledge where we have gone wrong and then we truly overcome any obstacle! Running from self or the harms we have set into motion will never allow one to be free.....the burdens of pain that we carry on our shoulders is never another's to carry. It is ours to carry with honesty... much love from my heart to all of yours... There once was a country that every one wanted the dream... People came to claim the land... of the free and the brave... People were seeking a better life to live happily ever after... Laws began to be established, rule, order and where morale for the common good of a family began to thrive... homes, land, work ethic, family unity and God that was the ruling benefactor of this Land and was at the center of a family meal.... with structure, truth, instructions on how to survive and live a life with a conscious ...something that has been lost generation after generation and this has become... being a humanitarian is much different than a Dictator....But a Dictator that I hold truth to is my Heavenly Father....
Division is here... and this is where hearts of humanity are being shown who is who...where the ruling benefactor is in the hearts of the world... Would a mother or father in their right mind give a match to a child to burn the house down? Would a mother or father slap their child's hand if it broke or did something is shouldn't have? Stole 100 dollars out of your pocket, hurting or destroying others along the way, using drugs that could destroy their life or allow them to walk into a store and rob a house? As a parent you would want to correct and lead that child on a righteous path... What if someone hurt your child or hurting any child for that matter, or a community as a whole... would a mother or father try to save their children from destruction or would they want their children to live in the bondage of hell or a prison? When generations are lost and broken it trickles down until someone breaks the chains...rises up and says no more... Not every culture has the same values or the same understandings... And we are seeing it all unfold and have been for centuries...Exposure of a persons heart is coming to fruition... just like every heart is not the same...or values.... not every belief is the same... just like there are only 2 sexes... one being male and one being female... In my senseful or senseless opinion and it depends on which side you have an opinion on...wanting law and order... children can go out a play where neighbors once looked out for the common welfare of those in town... not hanging on the street corners where drug over doses happen, shooting up towns, killing people just because, taking advantage of children with distortions and sickness... this land is No Longer the land of the brave and free... Brave and Free does not mean you can do whatever you please.....and changes what has always been the TRUE AMERICAN DREAM! There is a difference in force and a difference in a destined or a serendipitous plan... Let's explore the difference. Serendipity and destiny are never forced and you don't go searching for either one or seeking. They are the things that happen in life in the least expected ways. The people we meet, the places we go and the experiences we endure over the course of ones life. When meeting people or the same people years later and they appear randomly without searching. Those moments take place in a specific space and time when you least expected it... that is how you know Destiny is calling and Serendipity is calling you! We have choices and directions to go in this life and we can miss them by not connecting the dots. The universe does not pull your soul or your energy towards corruption... The Universe and God pulls you towards what is Holy, glowing, harmonious, peace, love, light, self control, joy and growth... the Universe draws you to live towards your destined path... much love from my heart to yours...
Your experiences are what define the direction of your life. True wisdom can only be found of and in those experiences; in those experiences are where you gain to understand the heart of mankind. It is the most beautiful and ironic concept. People look to others for advice or wisdom from those whom have read or studied a subject but have not lived those experiences themselves to truly discern. There are labels that are slapped on people from those with a lesser knowledge of what it means to truly live through experiences. How can someone really have knowledge over an experience that they have not indeed lived? It is impossible... we can feel, we can see pain and give advice of what to do or what someone should have done but until a person actually lives that said experience; that advice is null and void with no velocity to measure it with. The greatest and most powerful truth is when you; yourself overcome the odds of experiences that you were judged for by people whom don't have a clue or fathom how you overcame. We must be very careful of having a pure heart because worldly people want to break its purity. The greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and humanity is to not judge an experience or a person unless you have overcome the same experience. One can not weigh one's heart against the heart of another that lives their life through worldly eyes... a rare jewel many will not ever find... Keep your heart pure...remain in your truth... something a worldly and untamed heart will never know... much love from my heart to yours...
The only people that can truly help heal us besides ourselves are the ones who have truly overcame... we have to be so healed up that when things happen in life we don't fall apart... we have to process things... if you aren't healed from a childhood wound it will manifest in other areas... we have to know ourselves from the inside out... what will activate those unhealed parts... the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to love and embrace ourselves in those moments of defeat... if you aren't good enough alone; one can not be well for anyone in their life... or those parts that are unhealed will manifest in one fashion or another... this my is self mastery and what we all should strive for... until it happens to one... or another... people can judge or think they know what is best... but will never know until they share in that same experience... wisdom coming to you live from experiences... if you hear a crack in a story; or someone playing the blame or shift game it all manifests from the unwillingness to explore the exact nature of themselves. . the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the love in those moments of defeat... if you aren't good enough alone one can not be well for anyone... this my friend is self mastery what we all should strive for... until it happens to one... or another... people can judge or think they know what is best... but will never know until they share in that same experience... Brandi's wisdom coming to you live.... lol.... love you lady...
As we let go of all the things in the past... we are transitioning into another year... where time will continue ticking; for some of us the days ahead will be better than the years past and others are unsure... No matter what.... celebrate yourself... celebrate your passions, your purpose and be full of light... There will be people that you meet along the way that will need your smile, your wisdom, your encouragement, truth, understanding, love and knowledge to see them through... continue to be a spark in others lives even if they try to dim your shine... forgive those whom have done you wrong... continue to be you... the real, the authentic being that you are and never try to fit into someone else's shoes... you don't know what all they went through just to still be walking beside you today.... make all of your intentions pure and never hurt another soul......
We are going into the New Year... One day at a time can change the rest of your life for the better... Continue to clean house and dive deep into those parts of you that have been crippling you for so long... Let go of the past... let go of the things that no longer serve you for your pursuit in this life... If you want better; you have to be better... you must be willing to do the work... Nobody knows you better than yourself... just be honest with you... Love you for how far you have come in the life... all that mess is what has made you who you are today....embrace it... let it go and run into the New Year... Victorious... Cheers to all of you who are here! Much love from my heart to all of yours.... The moral constructs and fulling giving into what you wish you could be and what you know you have to be; is one of the most diverse aspects of life. The world we live in compromises the moral code of how we are to live in this life. There is so much sinful nature around us each and everyday. How hard it is to function in a life that goes against the moral codes taught to us; it is extremely hard. Majority of people are out to seek what benefits themselves in a selfish manner and genuinely do not care for their neighbors. We live in such a twisted time and is is only getting worse. It is extremely hard to refrain from not walking a Christian Path that the Holy Bible teaches us that we are to adhere to. You will be misunderstood if you have a genuine heart, mind and soul. The people the try to show up and do the right things are persecuted more so than the ones who do wrong. This world has generated the ideology to be a genuine person you must have something wrong with you. People will pick you apart, tear you down when all you try to do is to get other's to open their eyes. When you call people out on their misaligned judgements and the path they are walking... they think you are trying to say you are better than them; when all you try to do is SAVE them from the bondage. It is such a hard process truly looking into why you are... we are to be help mates in others lives of those who God has chosen for his Glory... not ours...
In life you have to trust the process of what unfolds. When you search and seek those parts of yourself and truly surrender to what was and what will be; you loosen the chains of what has bond you for so long. One must realize the only control you have over your life is showing up and being the best version of yourself each and everyday. When we get trapped in a life that does not represent our integrity or the things that mean the most to us... we live in an illusionary state of existence. When you are tired of running against the flow or your existence you have no choice but to falter or to rise up. Much love from my heart to yours...
Today show up for yourself and lean unto you! When you expand beyond yourself you give parts of yourself away. You are the most important person in your life; which is you, Without you... you do not exist; nor the wisdom that you carry within your soul to share your knowledge. If you have forgotten how to take care of yourself... today is the day to do something nice for yourself. I have learned over my life that I was always giving parts of myself away and didn't get anything in return. I am learning that I have to save me for myself! Nobody will ever understand my needs more than me. My dreams are mine and my journey is mine alone; as is all of ours. I have tried to save so many people and those that I tried to save from themselves; did not appreciate or value the presence of my existence in their lives. I would share how I overcame or would give and give; only to have a knife thrown at my chest. I would bleed and bleed until until my blood would dry up. The more I poured into others'; the more ill I became. I was always serving others but my plate was never being replenished. Today fill your plate with the things you like to taste and pour your glass full of love and light.... much love from my heart to yours....
What is love? Love is when you help people grow. Love is when you help people rise to their full potential and you are a help mate in their life. Love is when you pour in and not take away. Love is when someone tells you their needs and you go above and beyond to try and fulfil those needs to allow that person to feel heard. Love is when you do things you wouldn't ordinally do or are out of your comfort zone, because you want to see that person shine and become the best version of themselves. Love is when you touch a persons soul and they smile from within. Love is when you connect to others for no selfish gain other than peace. Love is when you dance to the melodies of life and see that person through. Love is when you would never intentionally speak words to hurt or act out in rage because you want to control. Love is when you hold a person when they are is despair. Love is when you try to help a person see their worth. Love is when you want to see a person grow into the best version of themselves... Love is the purest of intentions from the heart... Love gives.... love does not take away. Much love from my heart to yours...
..We live in a time that the world has never seen. When love, hope and faith are slowing fading into the abyss. The digital age has made it so much easier for people to disconnect from the reality of what it means to be a human being. We all have senses that are unique in their own ways. We feel, taste, hear, smell and touch. What are we no longer doing? We are no longer connected to people, as we once were. The world has become selfish and disengaged from reality. The reality that we all have a need for someone to understand us, yet people are afraid of being vulnerable and hide behind the shell of the human body. The human body has needs, wants and desires and not just for fleshly reasons. When we get a hug or are touched by someone we love.. or a heartfelt human touch; our body produces chemicals that make us feel better. God made us in a way that many have lost sight of and everyone feels so separate in todays times. We have communication to be able to speak a language for expression, we have the human touch to know we are connected. We smell to see what is healthy and unhealthy, We hear words to encourage or to discourage. We see things to show us what is we value. We are more than energic beings... When all of our senses get evoked it produces the best version of ourselves. When our needs don't get met... we lose sight of our purpose and who we truly are... Connection is what we need to thrive in this life... loneliness and being misunderstood has brought us into the dark and dispersity that we are seeing into todays time. Make it a goal to begin connecting on all levels of your consciousness. Today... keep hugging yourself, keep smelling the roses, keep seeing the beautiful and wonderous things this life has before you, Keep tasting flavors of life and communicate to others and no longer hide behind your shell... We have all these senses for a reason and once they are all touched and in alignment you will become whole....much love from my heart to yours....
When you are faced with adverse situations; what can you do? The only thing you can do is get up and move to the changing rhythms. When your life is off beat and off track many things will come and question who you are or which road you shall travel. The easy road or the hard road? Sure we all wish our lives were easy but at what cost? Through the terrains of rocky paths that is where we are formed and molded into the best versions of ourselves. We get into the rough and windy hills is where we see that is isn't so easy but going up, down and side ways we begin to take the easier path. Through practice and through trial and error is where we find how to get over the mole hill. When a construction site has rocks, hills and Debre... the construction crew needs the right equipment to smooth out where the reconstruction will begin... There is a lot of planning that goes into building a building but you have to clear the land first.. After clearing the land you begin to build and it starts with one corner stone. That one cornerstone was the one cinder it took to make a beautiful building. We all have to start somewhere and today what will you clear away.... I say reclaim you! much love from my heart to yours....
Oh to us in this world and those by design... follow your passions and leave all else behind...Who you are is defined by your values... you may get lost and trapped by societies standards... If you have no heart or compassion that manifests from your soul; you are living a life dumbed down by others roles...When you walk past another human being and judge them by your sight; those things will manifest in your own life at some point... day or night... When you have lessons or challenges that come upon your days... you overcame; to help others overcome the same...when you battle things in this game of life... some deserved and some not quite right... When things come upon your days to break you down; stand right back up and claim your harmony right now... when you feel defeated and everything seems to go wrong... within those things are where you gain strength... in being strong... you know you and who you are at your core... rise up my friends and hug yourself once more....much love from my heart to yours.... For so many years... I have poured love unto others to help them pursue their dreams; lost to the shallows and the illusions of what was guiding them through their happiness or hellish mischief... Rock, paper, scissors... oh boy... one wins over the next.... and scores... Life is about the choices we make... to not eat or to eat the cake... Get up or sit down... sit out or dance to the song? Take a left or go right? It is all about your sight... Your visions and goals... only you know... they are the whispers that are deep within your soul.. There is the essence to the values of humanity that many people will never incorporate into their lives. People fail to realize the very experiences that they endure in life are the very things that help one heal or to help others heal on their journey. They become the very essence of their calling but yet deny the importance of those subliminal messages... The mind is a magnificent gift that one has to be willing to delve deep into those inner wounds... Those wounds keep people captive unable to escape their own misconceptions about themselves, humanity and hinders their judgments about the people, places and things they encounter each day.... We all have to be diligent in being accountable for our thoughts and actions. Be willing to always learn that no way is the right way.... only the way that leads you to self discovery.... much love from my heart to yours...
There are many things in our lives that we do not understand; yet we become so engulfed in the ideologies of other beliefs... Our perceptions become limited to the life experiences that we have endured. People will never understand from their own mindsets...because of limitations of misunderstandings...believing in their own truths! Some truths are formed from notions that germinate the mind from beliefs that were taught to them throughout their journey... Our journey is this life is about self discovery... and the understandings of others through the views they see the world. We can't get upset when people do not align with the truths we know... Knowing ourselves is the most fundamental facet one can ever have... When you align with your truths; nobody in this world we ever make you fall from your grace... Your grace, your values and your integrity are the GPS to your life... We; so often try to prove to ourselves that we are more or less by the company that is present within our lives... When we become true to us... we are loyal to love... loyal to our destined space in time...
It has taken me many years to finally realize we can't save everyone... I used to believe that all it took was love, kindness and to show others how to move in the right directions... No matter how much you give, not matter what you do for others... If they don't want it bad enough for themselves they won't fight the good fight... when you direct people to proper resources, you give them the tools and they don't use them they have made a choice... A choice to live by their own destruction; while bringing chaos into your world...that brings destruction upon your days and you become someone you no longer know... I have lived my whole life taking care of others and I forgot to take care of me and lost parts of me while trying to help others discover themselves... I am sure many of you have done the same... How do you know when enough is enough? When they are in a body bag? Do you die trying to save them or do you live trying to save yourself?
I used to write all the time; there were those moments that a thought would pass through my mind or an inspiration of just one word, one sound, one memory would evoke something in me to where I could come alive through words... and help others to do the same. I have been thinking a lot about why things happen as they do? Why are some of us here on this planet; while others leave so early? What is the impact that we have upon the people in our lives or the impact they have upon our journey? For some reason or another I have undergone many challenges that the average person could not fathom... If I were to write my life story it would just seem like it was fiction...lol Have you ever had stories in your life that just seem like it is straight twilight zone.
You can find so much peace in the little things that life has to offer... while today there is so much changing in the world; many times it is hard to find balance...between work, home, family, relationships and all the world chaos that is changing at a rapid speed... Our generation is not used to all of the changes that is occurring Nationwide and in the entirety of human existence and it produces so much fear and anxiety for what the future holds for our children and the generations to come.... We all tend to live in our little bubbles; while neglecting what is happening in one another's lives... my hope for all is that the bubbles begin to burst and people can get real and raw about each others struggles....My hope is love begins to pour abundantly unto mankind... today just find a little laughter, a little spark and ignite your hearts with compassion.... much love from my heart to yours....
You can find so much peace in the little things that life has to offer... while today there is so much changing in the world; many times it is hard to find balance...between work, home, family, relationships and all the world chaos that is changing at a rapid speed... Our generation is not used to all of the changes that is occurring Nationwide and in the entirety of human existence and it produces so much fear and anxiety for what the future holds for our children and the generations to come.... We all tend to live in our little bubbles; while neglecting what is happening in one others lives... my hope for all is that the bubbles begin to burst and people can get real and raw about each others struggles....My hope is love begins to pour abundantly unto mankind... today just find a little laughter, a little spark and ignite your hearts with compassion.... much love from my heart to yours....
When you release all of the burdens of your past is when you find freedom. The weight is no longer on your shoulders or weighing you down. Throughout life when you carry the burdens of your own pain and carry the burdens of others pain it can take a toll on your physical, mental, spiritual and physical being. We all go through life looking for answers as to why certain people did the things they did or why our lives have turned out the way they have. One day you wake up and just let it all go and it doesn't matter anymore...You will never get the answers or closure you are looking for; other than just moving on and forgiving those whom have put you in harms way. What matters is today and what you do for the remainder of your days. We have no control over death, people treating us poorly or broken promises from the people in our lives. Maybe there is just a Divine plan in all of the madness. I always lived my life this way understanding that things unfold the way they do for a reason and I lost sight of that for quite some time. When I started trying to control things that I didn't have control over or rather than relying on my Faith; as I always had...my life turned upside down and I made some crazy decisions that I would have otherwise not have made... if I would have continued to live according to knowing that God always provides and works everything together for his good. The Divine plan is about his plan and not mine! Whomever I am supposed to be with in the life will arrive, where we are to live will arrive; the jobs will arrive, the people, places and things will arrive... I only want what is good and of God; not what is bad and of man who lives according to the world....who is meant for our lives will stay and what isn't will be gone if we live according to the will of God.... If people aren't bringing you closer in your walk of Faith they weren't sent by the all mighty... they were sent from the deceiver that wishes to seek, kill and destroy... that is how you know them by their fruits... as always... much love from my heart to yours and reclaim you today!
The hardest lesson you will learn in life is knowing that hearts aren't as pure as yours. The deepest sorrow one can ever feel in the loneliness in a world of over 7.8 billion people. You think you connect with other humans on a soul level and to find that the selfishness that resides on this planet is like living in a living hell. Many don't have the compacity to truly love! Love was supposed to be the Royal Law and the royal law has been lost. We are to love thy neighbor and most neighbors become mortal enemies. The closest people to us; do the most damage and have no remorse for the damage they have done or caused. It is a sad day knowing the time has come that the hearts of mankind are the desires of selfishness and not selflessness. A man who lays down his life for his brother is one of the greatest loves of all. I laid down my own happiness time and time again to help others upon their journey to be left in the wilderness. I have traveled through the wilderness for forty eight years alone without a genuine soul to love me other than my children. The years have gone by and I have been damaged by the rage of the deceitful souls I have encountered. I once had the biggest heart full of bliss, love and light... no matter what I had been through I was still helping other rise to the top or just get through their days. The greatest treasures I will ever have are the pure hearts of the four children that came from my flesh to emit their beautiful light from their souls unto a dying civilization. I pray the lessons I taught to each one of them never departs from their souls and the pain of this world never devours their lives. I pray for their souls to be reunited the the Holy of Holy and the know they have to fight the good fight, as I have. The greatest lesson for my children is to learn that love is what makes the world dance and to hold onto each other. I pray that my children find who they are evenly joked with and people do not play with their fragile hearts... I pray that my children understand they love I hold for each one of them and I have left them each with a unique imprint of my soul and heart to help them on their journey. My greatest hope is that they find the strength to love themselves fully and to never allow pain to cripple their lives and to work through each things that hardens their heart each day to facilitate growth to master forgiveness and love but to never take the pain of others as a reflection of their worth... I pray that the curse of darkness is filled with light... I pray for humanity in this same way...laughter, honesty, forgiveness, kindness, truth, loyalty, compassion, acceptance and understanding.... to truly love is the only way to inner peace...forever and always my heart to yours
Death is stricken by the last breath one exhales and all through life was just breathing to end up taking the last breath of their destined life path. We all know the day will come when we will never exist on this planet but none of us know how it will end. Suicide is the one that baffles us and leaves those of us behind wondering. Pain is real and 1 out of 5 Americans has thought about suicide at one time or another. What makes some keep fighting and holding onto to life and what makes one finally decide that everyone's lives are truly better without them. To feel responsible for not being a better friend, lover, sister, brother, wife, husband, aunt, uncle. mother, father, grandparent or co worker may just be the reality. Nobody wants to feel like a burden or be a burden unto others. Nobody wants to feel like they aren't worth it and nobody should ever have to feel alone with billions of people on this planet. I will never understand why there are so many mean people in this world. I will never understand why people try to intentionally hurt others... I will never understand why... Is suicide preventable? Is it the one last word you said to someone the tipping point in their choice to live or to die or do people truly don't want to be a burden any longer? Love can cure a multitude of ills... but death can end that persons pain from the illness of despair....but maybe they were tired of feeling alone and that nobody truly cared... In honor of Cimarron, Lonny, Teresa... IN God for their souls....
As fall is approaching and the leaves begin to change; so does the weather. As the weather changes and the seasons of the past are left behind so should the weights of life. We can never go back to what once was; we can only run to what may be. Life is like a tree... a tree starts as a seed...then the roots begin to develop once it is grounded within the soil. Once the soil gives nourishment to the veins it carries the nutrients up to the branches; leaves begin to form or beautiful flowers dress up the new life form. Each year a tree develops new rings according to the years it has been growing... Our bodies are the same and so are our souls. We need to take the wisdom that we have achieved through this game of life as each year passes and realize that some things need to be shed from our lives. If people, places or things to do facilitate growth for you to bloom you will not grow to your full potential and your life will be uprooted like a tree who has gone through a storm...be true to you and all the things that that allow you to dance freely like the leaves do in the wind... much love from my heart to yours...
The mystery of life is the uncertainties of the things that are never certain. Nothing remains the same as each day passes. The people we once knew, the person you used to be, the ideas of how we believe things should be and in moment that you finally realize everything works out the way is is meant to. Every time I have a plan for direction something derails and gets my life off of track but maybe it is the track I am supposed to be on. I was getting ready to go away for a couple of weeks to visit a friend and get my thoughts and head clear for the challenges I am getting ready to face. I had to cancel my plans because my son had a mental breakdown. My son is twenty four years old and was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder and Ptsd 4 years ago. He was institutionalized for six years and they had him on over 14 different medications. I was told by a few different therapists they believe my son had been misdiagnosed. If someone becomes institutionalized, they gradually become less able to think and act independently, because of having lived for a long time under the rules of an institution: A friend of mine had picked him up to go stay with him for a few weeks to help him do some things on his property and unfortunately my son was triggered and everything was closing in on him. My son had a severe panic attack and my friend had brought him back home after 3 days. I heard the door open and I jumped up and it was my son shaking and trembling and he told me he couldn't do it and started crying. I held him tightly and just held him and told him we will figure it out. My friend said he is not the same kid he used to know and asked what had happened to the fight in Jacob and his outgoingness. My friend was tearing up because Jacob and him used to be buddies. For the first time it felt like I had someone on my side that understood what I have been dealing with. My son has been hijacked by the system... his mind had been overtaken by the darkness that loomed behind the walls of being institutionalized. Jacob can not handle loud noises, crowds of people or being around certain people, places or things. I have slowly been trying to get him to do things for himself. I thought it was time for Jacob to try and do some things away from me but it was too soon. When people are going through and transitioning they need that little bit of hope, peace and consistency. I have seen the difference in my son over the last few months on his improvements and all I can do and he can do is take it one day at a time. My son said something the other day that I had failed to remember... He reminded me to have faith in what God can do for me... I need to be reminded of what God can do for him... Ask, believe and you shall receive... my son told me last week to stop crying... My son who is breaking in his own life is the only person by my side reminding me not to give up on myself or dreams.... as I am trying to build him to believe in his... the circle of life... and with being loved and feeling love is where we get our shine....
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