Today, I laughed so hard that tears were coming from my eyes... my belly was aching from the tummy muscles tightening.... There was so much joy and life inside of me. I was free once more in the happiness of being me! Nobody to tell me who I am... Nobody to ask me or question who I am... I am me! I am the whimsical, belly laughing, fun, shining, vibrant, magnificent being... I was created to be.... Nobody to take my shine... Nobody to steal my joy! I have allowed people to take away the very essence of who I have strived to be my entire life... I no longer have to explain myself to anyone... I no longer have to fear saying what is on my mind! I am free! I can listen to the music I choose, I can read the books I love to read... I can talk to whomever I want... I can paint a silly picture... I can write a silly poem... I am no longer bond by fitting someone else's mold... Accept for who created me... I was created; as we all are to be free... Free of burdens... free to know everything will be okay... Free to cry... free to feel... free to acknowledge when we are not okay... I choose joy... I choose me... each day I lay my burdens down... Each day a new challenge will come.... The only person that truly knows me is me! When you stop explaining yourself to people... you are free! Be you..Be brave and don't ever let anyone make you feel less than you are... Break free of the bonds and burdens... So what if you have made mistakes... so what if you lost your way.... so what! This too shall pass... Not sure where I am going or what will happen in my near future... But what the enemy means for your or my harm... The All Mighty will turn it around for his good... We have to embrace our assignment in this game of life and keep going... Keep carrying on... It doesn't matter what people think of you... It doesn't matter... in the end we meet our final destination.... For the rest of my journey... for the rest of your journey just don't worry how things turn out... Just live your best life while you have the chance...Don't forget to laugh... don't forget to rejoice through your battles... So what if you screwed up... If the bulb was meant to light without the screw head or electricity; it wouldn't have needed the circuits to brighten up the room! We need all the things in our lives  good or bad to help us glow and ground us... the darkness and the dark parts of ourselves are what makes you shine far above the clouds of despair... Desperately search for you... and you will find yourself... Don't run from your pain... learn from it and laugh at yourself to good tears...You have to  laugh at yourself and just say "It will all be okay!" much love from my heart to yours....

 Moving into the end of the year... looking back and reflecting on the past year has been the most devastating year of my life. When you lose so much and became numb to the life you once knew it changes you drastically. The people I had once known, betrayal from my most trusted allies and the situations I had experienced. The most important people in my life changed me at my core; knowing and some unknowing... Trauma after trauma, trigger after trigger, nightmares, betrayal after betrayal, flashbacks, avoidance of people, places and things.  So much that comes along with so much devastation. I disconnected from everything and every person that has reminded me of pain that they have inflicted upon me. I would try to express what was happening to those closest to me and they seemed to make it worse and truly did want to understand the depths of my despair; and could care less of the pain I was enduring. I became exhausted in life... too exhausted to sleep, to smile, to reach out to friends, family and loved ones or to fight with people. I no longer wanted to hear about anyone's problems, issues or circumstance people were going through. Many people go through minimal issues that could not understand the depths of my heart break but my world was turned upside down. I  had no one by my side.... nobody to help me get up for the day, nobody to remind me to smile, nobody to hug me and nobody to love me and help me put myself back together. Each day.... I went through the motions of self work and trying to bring a little life unto others... Get up everyday go to work still smiling and trying to bring light unto others as I will continue to do while I keep pushing on... until the day I am no longer needed on this planet. I have always been the woman to put people back together and to help others love themselves... when I was broken I had a couple people keep telling me to keep going.  I finally realized that the Happily ever after ending is mine to have and people who are full of deceit and have no shame should bare no burden on my heart... The only love you truly recieve is the love you give to yourself and pour unto humanity... if people are in your life to benefit themselves; what benefit are they to you for your growth? In this years closing know what all it took just to make it through each day... You may have struggled all alone but now your eyes are wide open... Look at you today... you are becoming stronger, wiser and less gullible... and now you see more clearly.... Each day do one kind thing for yourself and another... Move into grace and step away from daily stressors...The only person that will be loyal to you is yourself... Evoke in you the parts that have been sleeping... Pour the love you have poured into others unto yourself...  Always much love from my heart to yours....

When you are thankful for all that you have and all that you have lost... life holds so much value. When you value who you are as a whole being; nothing else really matters. I am extremely blessed finding myself once more and the people who are in my life. I had an encounter the other evening that make me realize that I am so thankful and grateful for where I am today. Being thankful for who we are inside and no matter how rough life can get we keep going. I had seen something in a person that made me very aware of myself and the outside world. What I don't want to be and what I truly value about myself within those surroundings everything seemed so clear. Be very selective of the people you allow to enter your soul source/ space. I definitely know what I want in my life and what I don't.... I have recently connected again with a friend that has opened my eyes and reminded me who I have always been.  I have undergone in my life to where I am today.  For a very long time; I was missing the kindness of people and who I could be my authentic self with... I have no shame in anything I have done in my life and there is some thing about being vigorously honest with someone about everything and all they do is encourage you and wipe away your tears. I have missed laughter, speaking about God, Art, writing, reading, studying and someone doing very kind things for me and speaking very pleasantly to me... When you have people in your life that speak your language it truly makes a difference in your daily encounters...I only want the best for people and hope everyone learns to love themselves... nobody can save you... You have to save yourself.... Be mindful and thankful... Have hope in life... We get one dance... make sure that dance beats with your rhythm.... This season be thankful for new beginnings... forgiveness...kindness and being open to living simple.... much love from my heart to yours....

Internal healing happens when you completely surrender to who you are and let go of who you thought you should be. You have to dive deep inside to those wounded parts of yourself; that the world can't fix or people can't fix. You have to be willing to fix yourself. Some people have it very easy in life and don't have to undergo a lot of transformation because many of those people belong to the world. If you belong to the world you won't have to overcome many struggles but if you belong to the spiritual realm you will continually have situations that come upon your path that challenge you daily. Those things are meant to break you; however they are the very  experiences that build your character and authenticity. Life circumstances are the elements that you needed to mold you! They become your testimony of your life to help others to overcome and transition. When you have a calling on your life you have to be pressed, shaken and burned so people can see your strength. When you rise from the ashes nothing or nobody can stop you! Would you rather get help from a person who has never undergone true hardship or someone who has had it easy? You will never know the core of someone until life situations happen that brings havoc upon their life. True wisdom and understanding can only be known and obtained to those who have undergone the fire in the hail storm. When seeking wisdom you must truly get it from the wise; to get understanding you must get it from the ones who have overcome and overcame. To truly be victorious   is not to have an easy life... To be victorious is the love you pour into a broken vessels and  send light  to other souls.... much love from my heart to yours....

A critical mind or a critical person will never allow you to grow into the authentic person you are... If you have people or things around you that do not allow you to flourish and beat you down with everything that comes from your heart or your mouth... Those people are life beaters... The beaters that swirl your world around to smooth out their own infirmities to make themselves feel better because they don't have your skills. The mixture of who you are and your life experiences help you to balance the perfect flavor for your meal.... Some people don't know how to add the perfect spices and their meal becomes bitter... there are those that will come and add lemons so they can ruin your perfect dish... We all need help from time to time to correct the spices to flavor our lives... Make sure your taste buds enjoy the zest of life....and not adhere to an acquired taste.... ​

There are moments when you absolutely just get what life is all about; There are those moments of inner peace that you realize that you no longer crave anything more than being true to yourself. The world no longer matters in the way it once had or the people who you have known upon your journey. The only people, places and things that matter are no longer about the mass that takes up space. The wholeness that you have concluded was not what truly made you whole. Your whole being along the way had been given away to an existence that did not exist in you. When one becomes self aware and aware of others the trajectory gets you on course. The course of self discovery is of a binary equation... When we realize the depth of existence within the planes of non resistance we can sit with ourselves and no longer have the need to be manipulated in a world of false beliefs. When you feel inner balance, love for humanity you do not look at life or people the same. You emit love, acceptance and gratitude for all of your encounters. LIfe is a bounty of beauty and beauty is light of love.... Be you and be courageous enough to know who you truly are or you will miss your whole purpose... Reclaim You Today!