Dancing with the Devil

   Where dancing with the devil will get you in life is nowhere but hell! The one whom will makes promises and has no intention on keeping them... will shower you with affection, false love and and a reckless lifestyle. You become someone you never even knew.... You fight for love and end up in chaos. Who have you become and who is the imposter? An imposter that made you doubt yourself and become someone you should have never been. You will be told by the devil that you are a washed up whore, you need to kill yourself. The man that said he loved me would tell me to kill myself over and over again...he would text it to me and say it straight to my face... He would say things like you couldn't even kill yourself right and God is telling me to tell you to do it and just kill yourself... you will be told that you are worthless, you will be told that you are damaged goods, he will cheat on you, you will be told you you are evil when you know you are not.... The devil will tell you you deserve the abuse  and you are destined for abuse....and he will tell you that you are a crazy maker, you are unworthy,liar, fake, false, whore,  worthless, he will kill you, he will kill your friends and too many horrible things to repeat. He will tell you your children are messed up because of you. You will be going out somewhere and he knows you are having a good time and he will ruin it because you are having fun. You will be on your way somewhere and he starts a fight to turn on you.... He will punish you like you are a child if you don't agree with him and you don't get to go to dinner, dancing or whatever it may be. The devil will call you an angel one moment then the next tell you you are not worthy of love.  The devil will take an elbow to your throat, throw coffee on you and food, trap you, break things, throw things...the devil will beat you up mentally, emotionally, mentally and spiritually until you began to believe the lies. He is jealous of everyone in your life! He will call you names like a prostitute, he will tell you you need to just lay there and take it , he will accuse you of sleeping with everyone in town and including your friends... while he is out charming everyone in sight... He will accuse you of everything he is doing. He is a master manipulator. He will slam on brakes while driving down the highway, back roads, punch steering wheels and tell you to get out of his car and when you try to get out he apologizes..., you will listen to music and he will accuse you of thinking of of other men or women. If you have conversations with even his family members or strangers he gets jealous. He will take away your self worth. He will dismiss anything kind you do for him, he will accuse you of liking women and everyman in sight. The devil will try to convince you that you are the worst thing to walk this earth and then the next you are the best thing and the angel in his life and that he doesn't deserve you. The devil slivers around seeking people he can and will destroy while you try to help him love himself and encourage him to be the best version of himself. Everyone around him and when you are out he fools and charms but when he gets you alone you are his emotional beating board. He is an abuser and accuser and he hates the beauty that you have inside. The devil crushes you day in and day out.... while you try to love him..... the devil became my abuser and I lost myself as much as he abused me. He was an alcoholic, drug addict that I didn't know his love for his abuse, until years later into the relationship... He hid his  use from me for years....while I helped him become better he helped me to destroy every last sense of worth I had within myself.. I did everything to try to cover up my pain..... still loving him and by his side trying while  wanting my pain to go away but the torment he brought to my heart, mind and soul while i was already dealing with so much... broke me down.... All while trying to love him and help him rise to his fullest potential.Helping him get his professional career going and he told me not to work ..I would pray with him and share the love of Our Lord to try to get him to remember who he could be... but he mocked me and didn't want to get closer to the light; he wanted to take me into his darkness.... I thought he loved me and he was my muse... lover, confidant, my strength and rock... we used to laugh and bring out the best in each other and he was the man of that I made up in my dreams by the way we could just understood each other and had the same visions..., He was my best friend that I shared everything with.... only to find that he came to my life to destroy everything I had built my house upon; which was my Faith and the Faith I tried to give unto others. While I was helping him above the waters; he slowly drowned me in my tears. Dancing with the devil got me nowhere but in utter living hell.... Now i must pay the price for what I allowed and not sure of the cost.... But if you are in an mentally or emotionally abusive relationship. I encourage you to not ever allow someone to make you feel like you were never meant to live and strive to try  live and not die! I had been dealing with so much in my life and he tore me apart and all that man could do was take me to a place of despair when all I wanted and needed was his support... He would tell me we were best friends, he can't live without me, I was his everything; he would claim he loved me more than anything in this world...that I was his person that you wanted to spend the rest of his life with... when it all due respect he was a foe... The devil is a foe not your friend.... He will convince you to stay away from the people who love you and tell you your friends don't love you.... then the next he will tell you everyone loves you. He will tell you all of your friends aren't your friends.... He will accuse you of things that are his own vain imagination....You will be in constant fight or flight mode trying to escape his chaos and anger starts to come up when you try to stand up for yourself... If your friends talk about the old days he accuses you of being a slut or make up things in his mind. You try to stop your friends from saying anything good or bad because you know how you will pay for it later... You become angry in fear that now he has something else to hold against you. You are on high alert because he twists your words to fit his narrative.   He questions everything you say and do over and over again. Anytime, anyone raises their voice to you you will begin to tremble. You aren't allowed to talk to strangers without him filtering your every word. He will constantly bring up your past and the things you shared with him so he can use your pain against you. He likes to trigger you and make you feel hopeless. You self destruct, you wonder what you have done so wrong when all you tried to do was love him and show him how to love himself.... you will make him achieve great things and he will demolish your dreams.... while he gets to go on his journey .... he will kill you on yours....his jealousy will destroy you because he  hates the light you once used to shine...and you will began to be eaten alive; while you helped him achieve his dreams.... he will make yours go into the abyss of no return.... While you helped him become better he helped you become bitter... your peace and happiness will be severed over time. His addictions and paranoia destroyed our foundation and that is what broke our house. I almost lost myself....I don't know where my road will take me  but if I saved one person from the devil's hell my life was worth it....when I leave this earth....  surround me with candles, wildflowers and white roses because purity is all I ever desired and to give and receive a beautiful life full of genuine love...... God bless you all on your journey and struggles.... always from my heart to yours.....much love from me to you!

#useyourvoice2021
​