Jacob's Ladder

​Jacob’s Ladder
The tormented mind an the tormented soul… what happened to the baby boy I used to hold
The demons of life and all your strife has taken over to a place of insanity
You reached out for help and kept telling everyone you were in distress
Your poor heart was pouring out and crying for death
Your mind was distorted by the man who gave you pain
You never looked at yourself ever again the same…
You cried out to me… Mom you don’t understand
“They come to me each night reminiscing in my dreams”
You cried out to God and said he was real
Yet the system didn’t help and deemed you mentally ill
Nobody to help and all turned away… you chose heroin then meth took your brain away
Psychosis, mace, strapped to a chair... while deep inside the demons were aware
They torture your soul… for those who don’t understand… you my son were taken over by the Chains of a life nobody will understand…
Everyone turned their backs and left you alone… you kept trying to hold onto to the only thing you had known…
Your safety blanket… covered your walls… scripture verses from the baseboards to the ceiling to protect you as the night would crawl
You told me you couldn’t sleep at night… Mom you don’t understand they are raging war …
I could always see it in your eyes… You were so scared to tell me why…
It went on for years and many tears… No matter what climb to heaven stairs…
I will never give up and will always pray for you mind… those demons I bind…
Jacob… your ladder will not fail you on God’s time…

This was a plea I made back in September 2016; for my son as follows;
Dear God I pray for a hedge of protection over Jacob  and any of you out there that are battling a drug addiction... addiction hurts the ones closest to you more than you will ever fathom... One drug turns into another, one heartbreak turns into another. One death turns into another... The people who love you the most lose their will to stop fighting for your life and safety... When you no longer give a damn... I tried with ever vessel of my being to protect. Nurture, love, advise, encourage and be there...but I lost my battle of being able to live with the demons, addiction has brought to my family... It is hard to go to work. It is hard to smile, it is hard to breathe when you love someone so much and you fought when they couldn't fight for themselves... I had to stop fighting because I am dying inside... I pray you all find your way and get the help you need...the hardest thing I ever had to go is let go... I don't know if Jacob is dead or alive or will see many more days ahead of him... Whatever happens to you Jacob... I tried and I love you with everything I have within... Fight for your life... Seek those who have over came and stay the hell away from the people who use drugs... They don't care one ounce about you... You have a family that loves you... You were never alone... I pray you make it... If you don't... I don't know if I ever will....