Don't Run

Have you ever ran so hard and so fast that you didn't know how you got from point A to point Z? Wow, when you are running you don't even have a chance to stop and reflect on the things around you. When you finally meet the end you take a deep breath, rest and look around and realize everything you ran so fast from is staring you right back in the face. You were running  and not taking anytime to reflect and you passed everything in between. You wonder how and why did you run so fast and what were you running from? You look back at the images that flash before you and you realize that you were running from the things that tried to break your heart and soul. You thought if you kept running and not facing things they would magically dissapear... I lost so much over the last year few years  of my life... I was running from hurt and pain and stopped reflecting on what life was trying to teach me. I gave up my home, donated just about everything I owned, walked out of a job after 9 years, watched my son get locked up,  people stealing from me, violating me, lost  some people I loved and ran from town to town... state to state only to come back to realize I couldn't run anymore. With my Faith still by my side... I surrendered. I had to face the fact that my son had developed drug induced schizophrenia and I have to be there for him and all the trauma he has undergone and my other three children. I ran from everything and everyone I loved the most; including myself. I was in denial of what and how my sons long term addiction had done to me and my family. I had many sleepless nights and was averaging 3 to 4 hours a sleep a night for 4 years, trying to maintain a full time job and raise a family on my own.  Before you make irrational decisions speak to someone.  I was Wow... sleep deprivation and stress can take you down a road you would not ordinarly travel... Before you give up on yourself or feel like you are all alone...reach out to others and let them know what you are facing.  All I can say is don't run from the lessons you are being taught... embrace them, reach out to others when you are going through things in life.  Nobody has walked in your shoes. We all react to situations differently.   Don't give up hope and don't give up on your life because your life is precious... Run to hope and don't run in fear.... much love from my heart to yours....